Fracture
by ICarryYourHeart16
Summary: A fracture can make you stronger, a tough scar over old pain, or it can make you weaker, a crack forever threatening to break you. My take on the infamous "Other time", and how it still affects them.


**I've been wanting to write this forever, ever since I saw episode 8 in season 2 of Suits. I immediately noticed how different the Harvey and Donna dynamic was. If they seem a little out of character, it's because I'm writing them five years younger, trying to capture the characters they were then to contrast it to who they are now.**

* * *

_**A fracture can make you stronger, a tough scar over old pain, or it can make you weaker, a crack forever threatening to break you.**_

**August 2007**

* * *

She knew he'd won the case the moment she saw him walk down the hall. Harvey made a handsome picture, all swagger and style as he nodded a greeting at a passing partner. Donna pulled out the record she'd been saving for just this occasion. It was an original Sony Rollins and it had set her back a few hundred, but winning this case completely justified the impulsive purchase. The win put him in a new light with the rest of the partners. It turned him from Jessica's young cocky protégé into a contributing partner who could hold his own.

Donna saw him reach into his pocket as his phone rang and as he walked by her his smile and wink told her everything. He'd mopped the floor with defending council and the jury had been eating out of his hands. The headset connected to the intercom parroted his end of the conversation into her ear and she waited patiently as he schmoozed with another client, anticipation causing her to drum her fingers on the desk. She was up like a shot as she heard him bid his goodbye and with the record tucked behind her back she waltzed into his office.

"I heard you made opposing council cry" Donna said, an amused smiled tugging at her lips.

His answering grin was quick and cocky. "Don't I always?" He leaned forward in his chair and gestured at the record she still held behind her. "What have you got there?"

Donna smiled and slid it towards him.

"Sony Collins, Saxophone Colossus, mint condition, original New York mono pressing."She said watching in delight as his eyes widened in awe at the record in front of him.  
"Where did you get this?" He asked, already jumping up to put it on his record player.

"Little antique store near my parents home, the shop owner has a weakness for Sony Collins," She grinned, tossed her hair, "and redheads."

Harvey snorted and set the needle on the record. Music flowed out and he closed his eyes. His face softened for just a moment, the hard planes and angles melted into the expression she was starting to glimpse less and less. It was the look he got when he watched his father play the saxophone, when he taught his nephew how to catch a baseball, and once, though sometimes she thinks she imagined it, when he looked at her. She worried that one day she wouldn't see that expression on his face anymore, that the constant drive for more and better would erase it completely.

A small twinge of unease crawled into her belly. Lately it had been all about winning, each time he'd become just a little bit more desperate, just a little bit more driven. Only a month ago they'd laid Gordon Specter to rest in the shade of a beautiful oak in a cemetery not far from Harvey's childhood home. Donna bit her lip as he sat down again at his desk, flipping open the new case file Jessica had already sent him. She wondered briefly if she should say something, suggest he take a personal day instead of running himself into the ground. The music continued to flow as she stood there and the breath she wasn't aware she was holding rushed out when he slapped the file closed and pushed his chair back.

"We should celebrate."

Donna nodded," there should be alcohol."

"Copious amounts of alcohol."

Memories of the little celebration they held in his then empty new office with the can opener, a bucket of tacks, and a vintage scotch made her wince

"But no scotch, I still feel a little sick when I smell it."

Harvey nodded, frowning. "No trying to break the tack record again either, I still have a few scars on my ass."

Donna laughed at that, the image of him drunkenly rolling onto a line of tacks fresh again in her mind.

"Okay, no tacks or can opener this time. Want to meet at Molly's around eight?"

"No, let's go now."

Donna raised an eyebrow as he loosened his tie and skirted around to edge of the desk.

"Right now? I still have two hours of work left."

"But you did four days worth of work in the last two days so that cancels out the two hours you'll miss." Harvey said reasonably, pressing a hand to the small of her back as he ushered her out of his office.

"I don't think Jessica will see the logic in that when she threatens to fire me."

Harvey scoffed and gave her arm a light squeeze, "Please, like I'd ever let Jessica fire you." He flashed her a grin. "Besides, I know you'd be a mess without me."

Donna smiled at that, grabbing her purse as they walked speedily by her cubicle.

"I'd be just fine, you on the other hand wouldn't even be able to get your own coffee in the morning, and God forbid you have to schedule a meeting." She shuddered in mock horror.

Harvey chuckled and pulled lightly at a strand of her hair. "Guess I'll have to keep you around then."

He was feeling playful, she thought. All charm and boyish grins. There was no denying the attraction between them, they flirted often enough that they were both aware of it. Neither of them had felt the need to go beyond the flirting so it remained platonic, with just the slightest snap of sexual tension in the air. Donna felt that sexual tension rise and the air thicken as they stepped into the elevator and his body brushed hers as he moved to make room for the clutch of new associates and paralegals who bustled in behind them. She stayed deliberately where she was so that they stood close as lovers, tension rippling along their skin. She enjoyed this little game they played, each pushing the limits until one of them backed off.

Her eyes met Harvey's, the playful challenge in them was irresistible and she shifted so that their thighs brushed. The look she gave him was not at all apologetic. His eyes darkened, narrowed, and he stepped back, his slight smile an acknowledgement that she'd won, this time. They both enjoyed the fun of harmless flirting, a matching of will and wit. They toyed with their mutual attraction and at the end of the day they parted as friends because anything else would require more than either of them was willing to give.

They had a close relationship, built on almost seven years of trust and loyalty and the flirting, lingering touches, and appreciative looks were all part of the package.

Harvey caught the eye of one of the paralegals and smiled, all Harvey Specter charm. She was a pretty blonde, and obviously believed the rumors that Harvey slept around the office because she gave him a bland stare and turned around. Donna cleared her throat in an attempt to hide the laugh that bubbled in her throat and gave his shoulder a comforting pat as the walked out the glass doors of the Pearson Hardman lobby.

"Don't worry we'll find you another pretty girl at the bar."

Harvey leveled her with a stare, "I can find my own women."

"Ah well if you ever need a wing-woman, you know who to call."

"Because that worked out so well for me last time," he returned.

"In my defense, she was gay before I talked to her."

"So you say," he paused, a slow smile crossing his face "actually, now that I think about it, maybe you can be my wing-woman, it could definitely make tonight... _interesting."_

"No, I retract the offer." Donna said raising her hand to hail a cab.

"I've got the car waiting" Harvey said, nudging her and pointing towards the sleek black car that stood waiting at the edge of the sidewalk.

"Oh your new company car, the driver's name is Ray right?"

Harvey nodded and she smiled as Ray stepped out to open the door.

"Ray! So good to finally meet you, Harvey's told me great things." Donna said, extending a hand to grip Rays.

The driver looked a little confused but then his smile bloomed as he put two and two together.

"You must be Donna, Harvey's beautiful and irreplaceable secretary." Ray said, full of gracious charm.

Donna smiled, glancing back at Harvey.

"Really?"

"Not my words," he said winking before stepping to the other side and sliding into the car beside her.

* * *

The bar was filled with music and the sound of conversation. It was a traditional Irish bar, complete with live Irish music on Tuesdays. They'd first come because Donna had been on some sort of culture rampage, trying to get in touch with her roots. They came back because Molly's served the best brew in town and because the regulars had become sort of like friends. A sense of familiarity in a big city full of strangers. Harvey watched with interest as Donna talked animatedly with the bartender. They were arguing passionately about some Irish sports team and the color that rose to her cheeks was pure temper. It always amused him, that fiery temper of hers. Unless of course he was on the receiving end of it, he thought with a laugh.

For the first time in weeks he felt himself again, the victory from the case still fresh in his mind. All the hours he'd put in, all the nights he slept in his office because he just couldn't face going home to an empty apartment to be alone with thoughts and memories of his father. All of it had paid off beautifully in the end. This case would put him on even footing with the rest of the partners, especially those who still thought he was Jessica's pet project. It had been shifted from lawyer to lawyer, Pearson Hardman's best hadn't been able to find enough just cause to prosecute so they'd passed it on. Jessica had placed it in his hands, "I already know you earned a seat at the table, now prove it to everyone else." she'd said, giving him a meaningful look before leaving him with the mess of a case.

Harvey stared off into the distance, determination etched on his face as he wondered how long it would take for the rest of the partners to accept that he had earned that seat just as they had. Donna's hand curled lightly onto his forearm, a warm reassurance.

"If this doesn't prove to each and every partner that you've earned your way then they're not worth it."

Harvey shrugged off the mood and took a sip of his beer. He no longer wondered at the fact that Donna had an almost psychic read on him.

"Damn right I earned it, don't see why I needed to prove it twice."

"Well, technically the only ones who know about Harman are you, me, and Jessica." Donna said, shifting closer to him so that he could hear her over the loud music. He could feel the warmth of her body close to his arm and not for the first time he felt desire rise, a slow tug in the gut. Harvey turned slightly, his thigh sliding alongside hers as they faced each other.

"You and Pete come to an agreement yet?" He asked, gesturing to the bartender who was in the process of building a pint.

Donna pulled a face, "No, but you can't reason with someone who wasn't born in Ireland," she said, tossing a look of disdain in the bartender's direction.

"You weren't born in Ireland," Harvey pointed out, amusement pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"My grandmother was born in Ireland, he goes back five generations before he finds any relatives there."

Harvey rolled his eyes.

"Are you on another Irish swing, because last time I remember it lasted about three weeks until you decided to give up your Irish heritage for good old America."

Donna scrunched her nose. "I didn't give it up, I just decided that cooking an entire traditional Irish meal for my closest friends and coworkers was a bad idea."

Harvey laughed, "it wasn't that bad" he said, not really putting any effort into the lie.

"Oh shut up, it was horrible and we're changing the subject."

Harvey nodded his agreement and reached for his beer again, watching her over the rim. Donna swung her foot to the beat of the music as they lapsed into a comfortable silence. He was starting to feel the warm relaxing effect of the alcohol and was just about to suggest they end the night when she practically jumped into his lap, a hand squeezing dangerously high on his thigh as she clutched him for balance.

"Jesus Donna," he said as a bolt of need shot straight into his gut, setting every nerve ending on fire.

"Okay I rarely ask you for a favor but for the love of God please play along." She hissed at him, her eyes darting to the left.

"You always ask me for favors," Harvey pointed out, letting out a strangled sound when her nails dug into his thigh. "Alright!"

"Donna!" The high pitched voice set his already frazzled nerves on edge and he looked in the direction of the sound to see a gorgeous brunette heading towards them. Her hair fell in a straight swing to her shoulders and she tossed it airily as she stepped up to embrace Donna in a hug.

"Aimee, it's been too long" Donna said, an almost imperceptible edge to her voice.

"Much too long dear, and who is this?" She asked, sharklike eyes landing on Harvey.

"Harvey," he said, reaching out to shake her hand and in the process shifting Donna closer so she was standing between his legs. She tensed up immediately and he felt a surge of satisfaction.

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Aimee asked, a gleam coming into her eyes.

"Oh for a while now." Donna said vaguely.

"Almost a year now isn't it sweetheart?" Harvey asked, lazily draping his hands around her waist.

Donna laughed, squeezing his arm just a little harder than normal. "Yes, almost."

"Oh well you simply must bring him to the charity gala my husband is hosting next month. How are your parents by the way?" She asked.

Harvey's attention drifted from the conversation to Donna. Her dislike was obvious, at least to him. Her smiles didn't reach her eyes, her laugh was polite and forced. She'd started to relax a bit into his hold and he wondered if she was aware that she was tracing small circles onto his forearm with her finger. His eyes focused on the spot her dress left bare right past the curve of her shoulder and since the opportunity was there, laid his lips on her skin. The way she jolted lit a primal urge in his blood and he was all at once grateful and disappointed that they were in a crowded bar. His hand flattened on her stomach and he stood behind her, moving her hair before pressing his lips to the spot just beneath her ear. Her shiver and the stutter in her conversation made him want, so he adjusted his grip on Donna and smiled politely at Aimee.

"Well it was great to meet you Aimee but Donna and I have to go, important meeting tomorrow." He said, already pushing Donna out the door.

In the time it took them to reach the doors of the bar and walk outside Donna was back to being Donna and the woman who had trembled in his arms just a moment ago was gone. His side felt cold as she stepped away from him and the slight wave of disappointment made him frown.

Donna let out a loud sigh, "thank you," she said pressing a hand to her temple. She turned to face him.

"What?"

"What was that?" He asked,

"Family friend," she said tucking her hair behind her ear. Donna looked up at his questioning gaze and pursed her lips.

"It's a long story, one that needs to be told over margaritas," she said.

"Don't you always have a bottle of margarita mix in your fridge?"

"Fine, I will tell you, but no judging." She said as they made the short walk to her apartment.

"I think we were way past judging the moment you grabbed my leg."

"I panicked."

"You? You never panic." He paused, laughed. "Never mind, I forgot about the time you met Simon Baker."

"I didn't panic, I was in awe."

"You were practically catatonic."

She sent him one withering look and unlocked the main door of her apartment building before stepping inside. They took the stairs because she considered it a part of her daily exercise routine and the way her elevator shuddered as it went up made him nervous anyway. The door to her apartment was right at the end of the hall on the fourth floor and when they stepped inside Donna gestured to the couch while she busied herself in the kitchen. Harvey heard the whirring of the ice crusher and took the time to wander around her apartment.

It was meticulously clean and a reflection of the woman herself. She had pictures everywhere, old pictures from plays she starred in during her college days, pictures of her family, a few scattered here and there from work parties. He picked up a book that lay on the coffee table and shook his head. It looked to be a traditional Irish cookbook and he wondered if that was where she'd gotten the inspiration for the meal she'd served at the disastrous dinner party. He turned at the sound of her voice, a smart comment on the tip of his tongue when the picture caught his eye. It was of him, Donna, and his father at his last birthday party. The pain hit him straight in the chest and because he was unprepared for it he had to fight to keep his emotions at bay. His knuckles whitened as he held the frame, unable to put it down.

"Harvey,"

His name was no more than a whisper but his head snapped up and he met Donna's eyes. She set down the glasses she held and crossed the room, laying a hesitant hand on his arm. The hard knot of pain that had settled into his heart the day he heard his father passed threaten to wiggle loose, but so did his control.

"It's going to be okay," he said in a voice so choked with emotion he barely recognized it. He set the frame down shakily and it toppled over as he walked to the couch and sat heavily. It was eerily silent in the apartment and he knew Donna was watching him but he couldn't seem to make himself meet her eyes. Another wave of emotion swamped him and he had to put his head in his hands as he fought for control. She sat beside him, her face full of concern. "Harvey."

"He was supposed to live forever. I know that's stupid but I wasn't ready for him to leave me."

He felt her hand warm over his, her finger caressing his skin in those same little circles.

"I miss him, I was so selfish, I never went to see him. Not towards the end. All I could focus on was making partner," he took a breath, closed his eyes. " Even after, all I did was go back to work."

"Everyone deals with-"

" I almost didn't go to the funeral." He interrupted, and he finally looked up at her. "I didn't want to face it, to see him like that." He wanted to lower his head in shame but he forced himself to hold her gaze. "I just wanted to run away." He expected to see disappointment in her eyes but found only understanding.

"But you didn't, and you honored his life with the words you said. And he was so proud of you Harvey, he couldn't stop talking about how great you were. He would still be proud of you."

He looked down at her hand covering his, the words affecting him more than he would have like them to. Something inside of him was opening, it confused and unnerved him. A tear plopped onto their joined hands and he looked up in surprise to see Donna's eyes rimmed with red.

"Sorry," She whispered, sniffling.

"You really did love him."

"Of course I did, he was a great man, and a wonderful father."

Harvey nodded, feeling the hard knot of pain shift again in his chest, slowly releasing. He wiped at the tear tracking its way down her cheek, a intimate gesture that flustered them both.

"Now we really need those Margaritas," Donna said as she released his hand.

"Yeah," Harvey said before yanking her back and crushing his mouth to hers. He had a moment to think it was like grabbing on to lightning before he lost himself in her. It was a desperate meeting of lips and tongues as he poured the storm of emotions he felt into the kiss, his hand squeezing and releasing at the back of her neck. She trembled against him and he reveled in the feel of it, tugging her closer so she was straddling his lap. Her hands threaded through his hair and flexed convulsively when he slid a hand up her side. Harvey groaned as she moved sinuously against him, and he lifted her easily to flip her onto the couch before sliding over her again.

Her eyes met his and a thousand feelings were communicated with a single look. He kissed her again, slowly this time, putting the words he couldn't say into the kiss, hoping it would be enough. He wasn't surprised when she pressed a hand to his chest to push him away, he'd felt it too, that shift that had made everything between them just that much more important.

* * *

Donna's heart tipped, trembled dangerously on the edge, and realization hit her like a ton of bricks. What was between them had changed so quickly from friendly flirtation to this moment that held so much weight that she was left reeling. It had kind of snuck up on her, this love, or at least the possibility of it. She was stupid not to realize that the deep affection she held for Harvey, the close friendship could so easily shift into love. She looked down at his hand toying with the edge of her skirt and covered it with hers.

"I think I could love you," was all she said as she met his eyes, desperate for him to understand that she couldn't risk that part of herself, not with so much up in the air. His face changed, gentled as he reached for her, and for one wild stunning moment she allowed herself to hope, but she saw the shutters come down over his eyes and that hope deflated like a balloon.

"I know you're not ready for that, and I'm not willing to risk everything we have for one night." She said finally, proud that there was no waver in her voice

His mouth parted as if he was waiting to say something, but then he stood and his lips pressed tightly together. He gave her a curt nod and turned his back to her.

She felt numb as she watched him leave without a word, the door closing with a quiet click behind him. Hurt and confusion crowded into her heart and she ran a shaky hand through her hair. Something she didn't even know she wanted had been ripped away in one quick pull and she feared that a piece of her may have gone with it. Donna sighed and let her head fall back onto the couch. Maybe one day none of this would matter and she could look at Harvey without remembering the way he'd kissed her, the way his touch had awoken a deep love inside of her that she wasn't sure she would ever find again.

* * *

His fingers tightened on the handle of the door as he battled with himself. There was a raging storm inside of him, and he wanted nothing more to go back in that room and lay a thousand promises at Donna's feet. In the end his fingers slipped from the door and he walked down the hall, regret a bitter taste on his tongue. He knew without a doubt that if he gave in to this desire he would cause her more hurt than he could ever forgive himself for. Harvey's jaw clenched as he walked down the hall and made a promise to himself that he would never lay another hand on her, not even the most innocent of touches, because something deeper than either of them had anticipated had happened tonight and it wasn't a game anymore.

* * *

_She's in love with you Harvey, only she can't tell you that because she, like everyone else knows it will only drive you away. _

PRESENT

* * *

Donna tapped her pen impatiently as she listened to the longwinded message a second time. For some reason the memory of a night long ago had drifted into her mind and she'd completely tuned out the message. She looked over at Harvey as memories washed over her, the feel of his hands on her skin, his lips on hers. The emotions were no longer as sharp and bright, softened and faded with time and distance. They had been so stupid before, almost ruining a friendship they both treasured above all else. Donna shook her head and gathered the small pile of messages before stepping into Harvey's office. He didn't look up when she entered even though she knew he was aware of her presence. All his energy was focused on the forms in front of him. Once again he was trying to prove a point, that despite his recent loss he was still the best damn closer in the city and that wasn't going to change. Testing herself Donna skirted around the edge of his desk to lay the messages beside him and placed a hand on his forearm. He looked up in surprise and she waited for a beat before moving her hand.

"Can I get you anything?" She asked, watching as he considered for a moment before a slow smile spread on his face.

"A month long vacation on a deserted island with only the beautiful young island women to keep me company."

Donna's lips quirked "Sorry we're all out of that, can I interest you in a fabulous cup of coffee instead?"

Harvey nodded, a flicker of amusement in his eyes and she headed to the partners kitchen. She breathed a private sigh of relief as she brewed a fresh cappuccino. There had been no whirl of emotions when their eyes met, no longing when she had touched his arm. The past couple weeks had been rough, with Harvey losing to Jessica and the subsequent firing of Mike. Not to mention that twice in the last week people had accused her of being in love with her boss and just yesterday she'd walked in on a few junior associates gossiping about her and Harvey. It was bound to dredge up a few old memories.

* * *

Harvey rubbed the dull ache at his temple while he read over the case documents. The scent of Donna still lingered even after she'd left and for a moment he frowned, trying to pinpoint the memory stirring just out of reach. It came clearly a moment later, flashes of Donna snuggled up against him at a bar, trembling under him in her apartment. She'd worn the same scent then, something subtle and flowery. He allowed himself to daydream for a moment, imagining a scenario in which he hadn't turned away that night. It was easy to pretend that it would have been the start of something beautiful but he was too much of a realist to let the thought take root. If he had turned back to her that night they might have been able to make it work, at least for a while anyway, but he knew that it wouldn't be long before they would both realize that he couldn't be what she needed. She would have despised him and that would never sit well with him.

His office door swung open and Donna walked in carrying the scent of flowers and coffee with her. Harvey took the cup she handed him, his fingers brushing purposely against hers, a kind of test as he held her gaze just a touch too long. She smiled and left his office wordlessly, sitting back at her desk to schedule in his meetings for the week. He'd seen only friendly affection in her eyes, and for a moment he was almost disappointed that there hadn't been something more. Shrugging off the feeling Harvey focused his attention back on the papers in front of him. The opportunity was long gone now, and maybe it was for the best.

**I have this set up as a kind of prequel for a Donna/Harvey story that's still in its planning stages. It will be a lot truer to the Suits storyline than my last story was now that there aren't new episodes each week. **


End file.
